Life as we know it now..

It's always been interesting to me to see how much life can change. When you think about your wedding day...and the day you give birth to your first child you cant help but feel over joyed, teary eyed and think of how AMAZING those days will be.

My wedding day was nothing shy of amazing. As of now, the best day of my life and it will always be one of the best days! But I won't lie--I was 100% surprised on how much life changed afterwards. Not with the relationship between my new husband and I. But between me and friends and family.. some friends I thought I'd have forever.. some family I thought would always be around. It's like.. some people got the idea "well she's married now, she doesnt need us" and that couldn't be any farther from the truth. Married or not.. a girl always needs her friends.. I still need my time with my friends, my time for myself, after all, I want to KEEP my sanity.

I look at our life now..as we are getting ready to welcome our first child into the world. As we are getting everything ready for our baby boy...his room..his clothes washed.. his swings put together.. I cant help but think of what will life be like when he's here? Who else will walk out? We are finally established in our life after relationships lost once we were married..and feel so secure in our life now. I just wonder who will come around and who wont. To be honest.. to me it doesnt matter. I will have my amazing husband and cute baby boy. I know the ones who are still by my side, will still be there. The family and friends who have been there to help me with everything and anything during my pregnancy. The ones that take 2 seconds out of their day to text me and see how i'm doing when they know i've been sick. I'm guilty too.. with not being the best and contacting everyone. We are all grown up now..and have our own lives. and I understand that everyone's life is going in its own direction. and I dont need a phone call or text DAILY to assure me they are there... its the small things to me that matter. the text.. showing to my baby shower, extending a helping hand. Everything that i'd do for them if it were the other way around. In all honesty it kind of makes me laugh to myself. I'm sure once Braxton is born i'll hear from people I havent heard from my whole pregnancy... wanting to come check out the cutie. and then will be gone again afterwards until its once again convinient for them to come around. Which is OK with me, I dont need people like that in my life.. I dont need people like that to rely on.. I know now not to rely on anyone but myself..and my husband.

I know this is kind of a lot of thoughts just thrown on here. But I guess thats the point of blogging. Get everything out and feel better. I guess my point is this.. I'm not going to force anyone to be an active part of Braxton's life..and I'm not going to track anyone down to be apart of his life.. I'm not going to go out of my way to make sure he has relationships with friends or even family that cant pick up the phone themselves. I'm not going to accomodate any one but me, my husband and my child. I'm done reaching out to people who cant reach back. I'm tired of putting SO much effort into relationships that really are non existant without MY effort.

We are SOO excited for him to be here. To be parents.. to learn, to grow, and to do it all together as a team. I couldn't ask for anyone better to be the father of my child. He keeps me sane most of the time. He works so hard to provide for our family. He's the smartest man I know (well you too dad ;) ) I see the way he is with London and other kids and it melts my heart. I can't wait to see him see Braxton for the first time.. to hold him.. comfort him.. just the thoughts alone is enough to make me cry (but what cant make me cry these days??) I feel major relief in knowing that the days I am running on no sleep, and feel like I'm going to lose my sanity, I have him to lean on and that thought brings me so much comfort. We have never been parents before. The thought of being responsible for another innocent life is scary. I'd be lying if I said we weren't scared..what first time parents aren't?? But knowing we have each other.. I know it will all be okay..and such a good experience. Our lives will forever be changed on the day our son is born. Changed for the better.. We think we know what love is like now..and I know that will change once he is here.

Where has time gone??

I know.. I haven't posted in..FOREVER. So let's play catch up :)

I no longer work for RCS and have started working for my dad as a Project Coordinator. I hope to work until the 2nd week of December and then returning in March sometime, part time :)

Braxton is doing well. Growing like crazy. I can now feel his every move. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes he almost makes me pee myself. Sometimes it looks like waves going on in my belly. But I love every second of it :)

The last 2 ultra-sounds (the last one being at 24 weeks) he was measuring a week big. So I cross my fingers that means he will come a week early (although i'm not getting my hopes up) Oh how I'd LOVE for us to be home for Christmas. and oh how I PRAY I do not go over due!!!

Chris finished painting his room and it looks fantastic :) (pictures to come)

I have been slaving away getting ALL of his laundry done, organized and put away. Everything we got from the baby shower organized and put away. Things put together and in place. Hospital bags packed. I want to be as ready as possible.. and I HATE waiting until the last minute for anything..

My tummy popped out over night a couple weeks ago. I now feel super pregnant. I guess being 8 months its about time right?

Lately I have been extremely tired, not sleeping at night, getting swollen (both face and feet), nauseous and just getting to the part where i'm ready to be done. I have 8 weeks left. Somedays I think WOW that's it?? and others I think WOW still?? But i'm going to enjoy him being in my tummy as much as I can while he's still in there. I know that once he's out, I'll miss feeling him moving all over the place!

What I WONT miss about being pregnant: OILY face, heartburn, restless legs at night, nausea all the time, swollen feet and face, Only being able to sleep on my right side (when i do get to sleep), not being able to bend over to pick something up easily, If my shoes arent slip ons or flip-flops FORGET it!, not being able to drink caffeine (although I probably still wont after he's born since i'm nursing..at least not much), going from not full to OMG i'm so full I'm not going to puke from 1 small bite.

If you haven't already heard (which i'm sure you have!)

It's a BOY!! Chris and I went to the Specialist on Tuesday August 3rd to have our ultra sound to rule out downs. The first thing our nice tech asked us was if we knew what we were having. We said No. She asked if we wanted to know. We said YES. So she put the warm (yes warm not cold..weird huh?) gel on my belly and put the wand on. First thing that popped up on the screen? You guessed it, spread legs and boy parts! As soon as I looked at the screen and said Oh my! and looked over at Chris who was grinning ear to ear. And she confirmed, that in fact yes its a boy!!

After showing us his goodies, he decided he didn't want to cooperate very well. He curled up on my right side and wouldn't move. She was trying to get toes and fingers counted and he was being a little complicated!! Sitting on his hands, keeping his hands on his face, curled in a ball. She tried shaking my tummy and he still wasn't moving. She had me lay on both sides which finally got him to move enough she could get most of the pictures that she was needing!

Not only are we SO excited for a baby boy, we are also SOO SOO excited that he had NO markers for downs at all. Although my blood test was not considered positive, my doctors scale is a lot more "strict" then others, so he still sends people to be safe. Braxton looked completely healthy! All measurements were on target for being 19 weeks.

So far he has not been a very active baby. I feel him from time to time but not like I want to! A lot of my pregnant friends talk about how their baby is kicking ALL day, moving, rolling, flipping. I'm hoping to feel more movement with time, the movement I feel now isnt very strong. Not strong enough for Chris to feel. I've heard that around 22 weeks is when it gets stronger and more constant so I'm hoping that will be the case. So far it's looking like he likes to sleep and hang out. Hopefully he will come out with those great sleeping habbits.. I can only hope right!? haha.

Falling behind

I've totally fallen off of the blogging band wagon. In fact, I think I've fallen off of ALL band wagons. The cooking, cleaning, all of that has been put on hold for when I have the slightest energy to do a few chores at a time. SO on Sunday I will be 17 weeks. The nausea is still holding on STRONG. In fact the last 2 weeks I've been the sickest I've been so far in my pregnancy. (So much for going away at 12 weeks right??) I'm still holding onto faith that my day of feeling GREAT and glowing is just around the corner!!!

Wednesday I had my 16 week check up. I had actually lost almost 5lbs since my last appointment from being so sick and my appetite disappearing on me. (Don't worry, I'm still eating!!!) they did measurements and everything looked great! Baby's heart beat was a strong 156 and you could hear him/her flipping around like CRAZY! I can NOT wait until I can feel all of that movement!!

On June 16th we had our 12 week check up/ultra sound. It is AMAZING to see the change in the baby in just a couple short weeks. He/she looked like a baby..not a peanut or a small animal. It was amazing!!! He/she was bouncing all over the place, and sucking their thumb. It made everything seem so much more real!!!


In 2 1/2 weeks (August 3rd) we have our appointment with a specialist for an ultrasound. Which means we get to find out the sex of our baby!!! We are sooo sooo excited (although Chris is CONVINCED its a boy) We are excited to find out so we can start the nursery and all that fun stuff!!!


I was surprised at work from Chris today with some PRETTY flowers and a super sweet card :) he wasn't in the "dog house" and there wasnt a special occasion. Just because i've been so sick lately and he wanted to make me feel better!! I couldn't ask or a better husband, best friend and soon to be daddy!!

Picture give away!

Check out this awesome give away! It could be used for anyyything! How great?
http://www.capribirdphotography.blogspot.com/

Better EARLY than late!

There's always someone to pray for...

2 blog posts in 1 week!?! CRAZY! haha. I told myself that I need to get better at blogging. Not just for the (few) people that read it..but for me. Its sort of like a journal. The more I blog, the more I have to look back on, and I love the idea of that!

There's a blog that I keep up with regularly. I saw the article in the tri city herald about the car accident that involved Caleb (Cale) Darling, the article had a link to his blog and ever since then I've read it daily. My heart cant help but ache for his wife Kathleen, being a wife myself, I couldn't imagine being in her shoes. For someone i've never met, I can already say she's one of the toughest people I "know." Her outlook on the situation is amazing, her faith in God is so strong, and leaning on God is what has helped her get through this crazy nightmare. I include the Darling family in my nightly prayers as I know a lot of people around the world do. Cale and his recovery can never have too many people praying for him, So I ask you to take a peak at their blog...and include them in your prayers as well! In her post yesterday, she posted about another young woman who is in the same situation as herself, who is needing prayers as well. If that's the least we can do...why not? http://caledarling.blogspot.com/